The Last Conversation

Do we ever really know that the conversation that we are currently having will be our last conversation?  Many times we hear people talk about things that they had wished they had said to someone before they breathed their last breath but, have you ever considered that every conversation that you have may be the last conversation that you have with that person?  Obviously we never hear what the dead wish they had said but I’m sure that most people would hope that they left people with a memory.  Do we value our conversations, real face to face communication, enough to make it meaningful?  Are we engaged with the person or are we multitasking and listening with half of our brain?

I often wish that I had more meaningful conversations with my children.  Conversations that I truly believe mold their lives and will impact them long after I’m gone.  This is a difficult thing for me.  As has been said in this blog before, most of my conversations are held with myself.  Constantly I contemplate in my mind all sorts of things.  I run and I have long monologues with myself.  I go for a drive and converse with myself silently in my head.  This activity keeps me from opening my mouth and saying the valuable things to the valuable people.  It is also the reason for this blog and the reason that I haven’t blogged in two weeks.  I get tied up in my solo contemplation and never get to the keyboard. Or I question the value of what I am contemplating and whether it is worth sharing.

Although there was a lot of modeling expectations, growing up I don’t remember having a whole lot of great conversations with anyone.  My family was pretty good at keeping their meaningful contemplations to themselves.  This, I am sure, molded me into who I am today.  I don’t think is all bad because it forced me to develop my own thoughts and ideas; begin my own conversations in my head and eventually bring them to the world via this blog.  It only took 40phor years.

For the next 40phor years I hope to be more cognizant of every conversation that I have.  To leave people thinking, to leave people wanting more and to leave them with a smile on their faces. I plan to take the time to have conversations of value.  Each and every one a possible last conversation.

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