I will admit right up front here that I get a lot of inspiration from Seth Godin’s blog. I’m not stealing, what and how he writes makes me think about my own life and inspires me to write.
As a kid I was a mid pack kind of guy. Not the last picked for a game but generally not a first or second round pick. I’m sure there were many reasons for that. I was never terribly athletic. Probably about average. I was young for my grade (I started kindergarten at 4). Most of all though I think because I wasn’t a “townie” I didn’t play a lot of pick up games after school. I grew up in the country and a game of football at my house was usually me and my brother one on one in a field. Not necessarily the most exciting venue.
This not being picked thing followed me through elementary, junior high and high school and pretty much in to college. It never depressed me, I just kind of figured that’s who I was. My friends were all good to great athletes and it was kind of a privilege, in my mind, to hang with them. Sounds pretty lame to say it now.
When I graduated from college I had the opportunity to move about 4 hours away from home. I went tocollege very close to home so this was my very first time truly away from home. Without even contempaling it much, I took the job and moved away. At first intending to return some day but eventually realizing that I never would.
The reason I now know that I never returned is because I started picking myself. I was no longer sitting around waiting for others to pick me. Decisions were mine to make and though difficult at first I started to relish it. I changed
jobs several times without asking permission. I got my Master’s degree and a principal job without seeking approval. Children came and we raised them without anyone to tell us what to do. It wasn’t always easy but it changed me.
I know now why I say I won’t go home again. I became who I am here and I like who I am here. As Cross Canadian Ragweed say, “You’re always 17 in your home town.”
Excellent insight, Jeff. You put things into perspective for me. As much as I would like to go back home because I miss everyone so much, I became me here in Virginia. I am no longer the last one picked for kickball. I no longer cry because of the mean girls. I am in charge of who I am. I think you inspired a blog for me.