You Can’t Ride Two Horses with One Ass

I love idioms.  I almost always give my grandfather credit when I spew out a particularly folksy one.  “Like my grandfather used to say…”  He never really said that many but they sound like something he would say.  My favorites: “You couldn’t poor piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel.” and “You couldn’t hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle.”  Pretty folksy and really livens up a conversation.”

Anyway, the above idiom, I heard in a movie.  I can’t remember which one but I thought of it again last night.  I have a daughter, two actually but this is just relevant to one, who is a pretty darned good athlete.  I am always modest in talking about how good she is but she is definitely talented.  Talented enough to go to college and possibly play three different sports.  Currently she is trying to ride two horses (and sometimes three or four) and unfortunately she only has one rear end.

The real issue hear is field hockey vs. soccer.  My daughter is a very talented soccer player.  Downside: we don’t have a girls’ soccer team at our high school.  I have for years touted her passion for the game and how we would always find a place for her to play.  And we have.  Currently she plays on a premier level team.  Not just any premier team but one of the best teams in the country – ranked in the top 100.  On the other hand she is an extremely talented field hockey player,  possibly Division 1 caliber by some accounts.  Downside:  She doesn’t “love” it like she does soccer. We have a field hockey team and a pretty darned good one.  Qualifying for districts and/or states for the last 8 years at least.  When she plays, as a sophomore, others tell me that she has obvious advantages both physically and athletically over the other girls.  ***I interrupt this post to inform you that I know nothing about field hockey.  That is probably another post but the editorial comment seemed necessary*** No wonder I grind my teeth at night!

For me, the ticket to a college education that she wouldn’t otherwise be able to attain is the ultimate goal.  Academically she couldn’t go to UNC, Temple, UCLA; athletically that may be possible.  (Yeah, I know, “Oh woe is me.”  People have real problems. I know. But you’re reading my blog!) There really isn’t any arrogance in this for me.  I want her to have all the opportunities that she can have.  High school and college are minute in the whole scheme of a life.  Which one of these things will have the  most impact on the next 10, 15, 50 years?  Which horse is going to carry her ass the furthest?  I think I know the answer.  I think she does too.


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