For several years I did an annual post on my birthday. This year I turned 58. On September 16th one of my best friends from high school would have been 58 as well. He passed away in April of this year.

We became friends in third grade – 1975. We were friends all through college and were roommates for a couple of years. I moved away from home and so did he. We started families and created our own new circles. We drifted apart. About 10 years ago our small core of friends decided we would get together at least once a year. We did that for several years and then our differences became too much to put aside for a weekend or even an evening. Four guys with different views couldn’t put that on the shelf to get together. When he died I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years. I’ll never get that back.

Fast forward to two days before my birthday this year and the murder of Charlie Kirk. The reaction was extreme on both the left and the right. I was looking for a way to make it all make sense. Why have we become so extreme? Why can’t we have polite political debate?

Here’s where I am: we have way more in common with each other than we have with the people who are trying to keep us divided. Think about who keeps us divided. The media is extreme because that’s how they get viewers. Both sides twist the facts to support their agendas. Social media survives on clicks. We get reeled in, click on posts and that feeds are algorithm. Billionaires what us to be divided on certain issues that benefit their bottom lines. We all have very few similarities to billionaires. Even millionaires aren’t very close to billionaires. They have us all believing that we have to hate the other side. That’s just not true. We can disagree without hate.

I’m sure in your life you have met and talked with people you enjoy. If you never talked politics, you may become friends. But, as soon as politics is discussed, you make a judgement and most times you act on that judgement.

We need to change our algorithm! Our algorithms in social media are designed to divide us. If we only listen to right or left skewed media, our algorithm is dividing us.

I gave up on television news about 5 years ago. On my birthday this year, I spent time cleaning up my social media and trying to right my algorithm. If it’s political or wanders into politics, I removed my connection or blocked it. It will take time but if I commit to it every time I engage with social media, I think I can change the divisiveness of my feed.

I don’t know if this will help but I miss my friend. I regret the fact that we missed a lot of each others lives. And I won’t let it happen again.

Simplified, God’s two greatest commandments are Love God and Love your Neighbor.

We can do better with both.

Happy Birthday, Tim